Emily’s Weblog

What makes a relationship work? And I’m  not  talking about just living day to day with someone but what makes a relationship really work? Is it possible to keep the knot in your stomach for that other person forever? It’s funny how a show like Sex and the City can really make you think about things in your life. And if you figure out that thing that makes a relationship work is it the same for everyone? Does the same thing work for a hopeless romantic and a person who doesn’t believe in real love? Is it trust? Or money? Or communication? Or even sex?  Is it all of those; none of those? It can’t be based on sex cause some believe you shouldn’t have sex before marriage. But can a marriage work without sex? Are all relationships this hard? I believe in GREAT love .. the kind that makes your heart skip a beat and makes your plams sweat. But  if the person i love doesn’t believe in that kind of love then does that mean i’m not that person for him?  Why is it that LOVE is the topic most talked about with women, most avoided by men, and most shared with children? Could it be that we all long for a love that can only come from God. Yet when most of us get it we don’t think we deserve it, but Jesus thinks we do; He even died so we could feel that kind of love everyday. Sometime i feel like i’m to consumed in looking for love from others i forget about his love. Even in this blog i write about his last. So maybe, just maybe a relationship works when it is centered around Christ.

It’s amazing how God changes things. You think you have your life planned out, things you want to do and people you want to be with. But God usually has a different plan for our lives. Or at least for my life. I’m someone who likes change but not when i feel like my life feels like it is falling apart. I can happily say now that my life is not falling apart anymore. Yes i thought i was in love and yes i did have my heart broken, but see there is this funny thing about hearts they always heal. Thankfully i know who i am and what i want and that makes it much easier to heal my heart. : ]

6:10 – Get up and get in the shower

7 – leave for Armstrong Elem.

10:15 – Leave Armstrong and head back to school

10:50 – Chapel

11:45 – Class

1 – Lunch date with my mentor

2:30 – NAP

5:30 – Dinner

6:30 – Ping Pong with Erin and Scott

7:30 – Rest time/caught up with my girls

9 – Dgroup

10:30 – Stop and talked to Amy and Erin

11 – Room with a couple of girls

12:10 – Walk with Katie

12:25 – Talked to Matt on the phone

1:10 – Lobby

1:50 - Room

2:30 – bed

And thats thursday .. the easy day of my week hehe : ]

I never knew love ment a hug that can make everything feel better.

I never knew love was a smile from across the room so that everyone knows i’m with you.

I never knew love was hearing your name and smiling.

I never knew love was this feeling inside everytime i think about you.

I never knew love was the smile i cant wipe off my face after i get off the phone with you.

I never knew love ment i would find someone to complete me so well.

I never knew love was hopeing i make you as happy as you make me.

I never knew love was trust .. with no walls.

I never knew love was more then just a song or a word.

I never knew love was a “hey, i hope you have a great day”.

I never knew love ment a perfect match.

I never knew love ment waiting and waiting and waiting.

I never knew love ment dates that go all wrong .. but a perfect night.

I never knew love ment kisses under the stars.

I never knew love ment three hour car rides .. and holding hands the whole time.

I never knew love could be real for me.

I never knew love was so uncertain.

I never knew love was a man who trusted God.

I never knew love ment learning so much from someone else.

I never knew love ment arms that made me feel safe.

I never knew love was kisses on the forehead.

Some late night thoughts .. tell me what you think

Have you ever come to that point in life where you like, Wow i truly have grown so much. And your sitting around waiting for the next step to happen cause you knows it there somewhere. But you feel useless and you think to much about EVERYTHING?

How is it that we want to seek God’s face yet we aren’t even looking in the right direction? Do you think we can miss it by that much? And at what point does God turn his face? Or does he ever turn his face? I truly believe when we love people .. I mean whole heartly, even when it’s SUPER hard .. when we have loved like this we are seeking the face of God more then ever before.

What is surrendering? To give up in favor of another is what i found online. but really what is it? for me it’s to trust someone else to be in control of my life. what is it for you? when do we truly surrender to God? See i believe it’s more then just giving ourselves. I believe it’s also accepting and likeing the person we give to God. This book i’m reading .. Abba’s Child .. stresses that we are all made of his image. and when we dislike ourselves we dislike our God.

I wrote this to magazines and things like that .. haven’t decided if i’m going to send it in .. What do you think?

To Whom It May Concern:

            I’m writing in hopes you could tell a real story. I’ve read your magazine in hopes to find a story I could relate to … or maybe just a story that could represent us “normal, not that pretty, average” girls. A story that tells of tears and teddy bears. And of how the only comfort we usually get is our friends telling us time and time again that we are great girls or that one day some guy is going to be very lucky. How about a story of the girl who is always the friend and after watching her guy get hurt time and time again she gives up. She gives up thinking he might ever see her, she gives up on fairy tales and happy endings. A story that tells of a girl who, at the start is a hopeless romantic, but by the end she believes she will end up alone because it’s easier that way. Why not tell a real story, how is works out for most of us? Those of us who get dismissed for the friend who is always prettier or smarter or just a little funnier than we are. Those of us who are so tired of hearing guys say “nice guys finish last” or some other line that goes with that, because the only reason a nice guy would finish last is because he followed the “bad, poplar, way to pretty” girl down a rabbit trail, and he got lost. Because, see us “nice girls” really like you “nice guys” … ya’ll just usually are not looking in our direction. Try telling a story of the girl who gets excited to see that you called or texted … only to find out that the only reason you did was cause you were bored … not because you thought about us. How about writing a story of a girl who is just looking for someone to make her feel special, and unique. Or a story that’s about a girl who’s life is a mess, and who’s heart is guarded because she hasn’t found a guy who will truly except her, for the “jeans and a t-shirt” kind of girl she really is. A story of a girl who sits up a one in the morning, listening to music,  thinking about how tired she is of being alone. Or how about writing a story about a girl who tries to change who she is in hopes that he will like her, only to find out that he liked the person who she was. However, she is so lost that she doesn’t know how to become the person she was anymore. Tell a story of a girl who has lost all sight of love. Sometime we can’t even remember why we thought that love existed in the first place, we just pretend that we still believe, cause it’s easier that way and a lot less painful. You see in the end all we are waiting for is a guy who will pick us, he doesn’t have to come in on a white horse, he only has to pick us. And maybe then you will have a true love story, that includes hurt, walls that have been built, and more importantly trust.